Social connections: how to achieve success with those around you

The strongest survives in the world — this statement is scientifically proven and firmly entrenched in the mind. We are all used to the fact that the winner is always the one with the best performance. Hence the simple formula: be stronger, smarter, more creative than others, and then you will become successful. However, is it true? Is it possible, isolated from others, to achieve everything alone? Harvard University professor Sean Eikor is confident that only those who best adapt to others and interact with them, who know how to communicate well and complement the skills of their team, will achieve their goals. Together with others, more resources, energy and experience are involved, and this is the only way to move towards the desired success.

Social connections: how to achieve success with those around you

Social connections and health

In his book “Great Potential,” scientist Sean Eikor recalls an interesting study that was published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. It turns out that if you look at a mountain and assess the steepness of the slope before climbing, the mere presence of a support group already changes a person’s perception: next to a friend, dear and close person, the mountain will seem 10-20% more gentle than if you evaluate it alone. In this way, others provide support, and therefore it is psychologically and physically easier to climb a mountain with them, overcome barriers and achieve success. When military personnel undergo training, they often have to interlace their arms to pass obstacles, since they cannot complete the task alone. During times of stress resulting from failures, illnesses, and difficult life circumstances, a person also needs others to support him. Reliable social communication speaks about emotional balance and optimism, it is the main protection against depression and anxiety disorders. The professor cites the example of a well-known study on the risk factors of cardiovascular diseases, which began in Framingham, Massachusetts, back in 1948 and continues to this day, which showed the relationship between the condition of the heart and the patient’s social connections. The study is very large-scale, but the main thing is that its discoveries have demonstrated how much society affects a person’s physical health. Interestingly, the presence of healthy people in our community or online increases the chances of being healthier and feeling better. “And if there is a dependence of well—being on others,” Sean Eikor reflects, “maybe emotional well—being and happiness are also interconnected?” Scientists from California and Harvard Universities have found the answer to this question: it turned out that the level of happiness increases if all friends within a radius of one and a half kilometers are 63% likely to become happier too. And even if a person is unhappy at a given time, but surrounded by happy people, his chances of becoming happier greatly increase. We can say that such a company does not guarantee the achievement of absolute happiness, but it significantly increases the likelihood of finding it. In life, it makes sense to surround yourself with positive people, the scientist emphasizes. Research shows that optimistic men enjoy relationships more in life, and their wives report higher levels of happiness. Optimistic parents are not only less likely to be overprotective and less stressed, but their children are also more cheerful. At work, contacts with a positive group also have a beneficial effect: according to a Gallup poll, optimistic employees make 60% fewer mistakes, have 40% fewer accidents, and demonstrate 67% less absenteeism (shirking work under any pretext). Thus, a positive environment can be compared to a flu shot — it is an additional immunization against stress, apathy and nervous disorders, a means to strengthen strengths not only in work, but also in life. “With a happy wife, and a happy life,” says the famous saying. Similarly, with a happy child, friend, colleague, boss, Professor Eikor is sure, one should surround oneself only with those who will bring only bright moments to life, awaken the best sides in a person. Researchers from Michigan State have proven that the environment shapes a person’s personality type and, in addition, leaves a mark at an early age. So, if a child of three or four years old is surrounded by hardworking, sociable peers, he also begins to study harder and communicate more. Otherwise, dealing with impulsive, naughty, pessimistic children will make him the same. We can say that personal qualities are capable of “infecting”, like viruses. But the good news is that energy, patience, optimism, and extraversion are also “contagious.”

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Jim Rohn, a well—known businessman and best-selling author of motivation, has developed a certain concept of success: “You are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.” And it’s best if they are people with whom you can feel good, who will inspire and awaken your strengths. Sean Eikor calls them “agents of positive influence” — decent, compassionate, adequate, mentally stable, optimistic, open-minded people. But what about people who find it difficult to make friends for one reason or another? The professor reflects: “In fact, you can get the benefits of a positive environment, even if you don’t personally know these people.” Such agents of positive influence can be the heroes of books, for example. “You are what you read,” he says, and provides convincing proof of this. Scientists from Dartmouth College and Ohio State University have found that when reading a book, you can not only identify with the hero, but also acquire some of his character traits. And if the main character is a positive character with high social responsibility, perhaps the reader will be able to do something socially significant in life. In books, you can find things that would help you feel more confident, stronger, and smarter, and remove anger, frustration, and passivity. The same thing can be found in good movies, musical compositions, podcasts that will cheer you up and inspire you to do things. “The more cheerful voices there are, the easier it is to support and enhance positive change,” the scientist concludes.

Success strategies

Without the motivating power of family, friends and other dear and close people, it is very difficult to move forward on the path to success and happiness. Moreover, you can even lose the vector of movement and move in the opposite direction. Reflecting on this, Sean Eikor gives an unusual example — Newton’s first law: “Every material point (body) maintains a state of rest or uniform rectilinear motion until the impact from other bodies forces it (him) to change this state.” In his opinion, a person slows down and stops without the influence of positive forces. Only an external positive force is able to maintain momentum, energize and ensure forward movement. Based on the data of numerous studies, the scientist suggests three strategies to help open the boundaries of their abilities, increase their own potential and achieve the desired success. Strategy No. 1.Make your work meaningful. Professor Eikor suggests not thinking about your job as something routine, mundane, or as a means of livelihood. The purpose of any job is much more global: lawyers do not just prepare opinions and issue bills, they seek justice and protection of human rights; teachers do not only give grades, they prepare a new generation for life; janitors remove garbage in order to cleanse the planet of pollution and so that others can enjoy the purity and beauty of nature. The scientist considers visualization to be the best way to find meaning in his work. In particular, he suggests making an album of photographs of significant events that occurred in the lives of relatives or work colleagues. Visualizing future positive events can energize you for a long time and support a vector of movement that can lead you to completely unexpected places that will remain significant for a long time. Strategy No. 2. Use bright pointers. Professor Sean Eikor says that mental images significantly influence human actions. For example, research by scientists from Oxford and Cambridge has shown that the ability to vividly imagine all the details of a bright future significantly increases energy and momentum, which encourages constructive action. Imagining what the future life will be like, a person focuses on these images, and by increasing their brightness, he achieves emotional and physical health. The famous golfer Jack Nicklaus in the book “Play golf like me” recalls: “I never hit the ball, even in practice, until I have a very clear, focused picture of that shot in my head.” The professor notes that this applies to any other workout, public speaking, and even waking up at five in the morning. After visualizing the process, the probability of a successful outcome increases significantly. The scientist calls this phenomenon perceptual modeling. The more detailed the visualization, the more specific emotions associated with that state in the future are felt at the level of neurons. By imagining a joyful event, you can begin to experience this joy in the present moment. Vivid and lively pictures can attract a person to a better future. Therefore, it is important not to rehearse the tragic outcome of events in your mind, the scientist thinks, but, on the contrary, try to arrange a “general run of success.” Strategy No. 3. Celebrate the victories. Not only the big ones, but also the most insignificant ones at first glance. And it is important to praise the person for their contribution, friendship and support. “After all, when we celebrate someone for their kindness, diligence and creativity, we help them create just such a vivid image of themselves in their imagination,” says Sean Eikor. This creates positive feedback. It is important to remember happy events, significant moments in your life: a wedding celebration, a successful party at work, the birth of a sister or brother, a housewarming party, a coursework defense, an award ceremony. The scientist writes that holidays are the most important motivating force, and victories remind a person of the progress he has made and fuel his desire for more. The more he celebrates, the more he fills his life with meaning.

Conclusion

Thus, by surrounding yourself with people who have a positive impact, protecting yourself from negative attacks, you can maintain your vector of movement on the path to success. Together with others, a person has a great opportunity to generate more resources, energy and experience, which will help not only expand the boundaries of their own potential, but also make everyone around them better. And then it’s not far to full-fledged happiness. Photo: www.business-vector.info

Published

July, 2024

Duration of reading

About 3-4 minutes

Category

Social Psychology

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Eikor Sh. “Great potential. How to achieve success together with those who are nearby”

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